addiction |
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addiction |
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bio / book launch / contact
/ evolution / excerpts / feedback / home / literary events / reviews |
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Time to Say Good-bye I will always remember the pained expression on my childhood friend Sharon’s face back in 1979 when she approached me in the hallway of our Hamilton high school. She had caught me drinking from the beer-in-a-pop can I had stashed in the locker we shared. Although we were only 17 at the time, she had the wisdom to know back then that I needed help. In my heart of hearts, I already knew that I was a problem drinker, for during the previous two years, I’d been aware of a growing need to drink at any hour of the day or night, with a voracity unlike the others in my close circle of friends. But it would be dozens of blackouts, hundreds of hangovers, and two decades before that life would change forever. Fast forward to May 23, 1999. After a month of “white knuckle” abstinence, I couldn’t stand it any more; I had to have a drink. I promised myself I’d just have one. Well, I have never only had one drink, and therein was the problem; why on earth I thought that day would be any different, I don’t know. I call that thought process the devious “monkey mind” of drinkers. And so, content I was to bask in the deliciously warm late afternoon sun while with the monkey scampered restlessly within and the intensely passionate voices of Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman drifted out from the house in their deeply moving rendition of “Time to Say Goodbye”. “Ahhh, this is life,” I exhaled between swigs of some pale brown ale. My guard blissfully down, the monkey had full reign and the fragility of life came raging in. By the grace of a force beyond me, I woke up this side of death the following afternoon. That day was for me what I hope and pray was my final “bottoming out”. For all the times I thought I’d been there before, I’d never quite managed to lapse into unconsciousness for such an extended period of time. When I came to the following afternoon, I will never forget the deeply etched pain on my partner’s face. She was beyond mad: she was scared to death. I knew then in my hazy, gruesomely hung over state, that I’d been spared; my time had not yet come to say goodbye to this life… It was however, time to make my way to the Jean Tweed Centre. I knew about the Centre, but had this notion in my head that it was for really “down and out women”; “real alcoholics”. What on earth a “real alcoholic” is, I still don’t know; what I do know is that I belonged there, among all kinds of women, from all walks of life. In June 1999, I entered the Outpatient (TAP) Program, participated in the Family Program with my partner, and attended the Aftercare Program for another year. Miraculously, alcohol-free days and weeks turned into months then a year, followed by still another year. Although I have now been sober for 4 years, I know that nothing guarantees continued sobriety. However, the Jean Tweed Centre has grounded me in my sobriety in a way that other treatment programs had not. The Jean Tweed Centre is truly more than an extraordinary treatment facility for women, staffed by an amazing spectrum of extraordinary women. It is a place to which thousands of women have journeyed since 1984, in their quest for a recovered and rediscovered life. I know I am not alone in wishing I’d had the opportunity to know Jean Tweed herself and to thank her for her courage in pioneering a women’s only treatment centre; one that is perhaps THE best treatment facility for women and their families with substance abuse issues in Canada. Suffice it to say that the tragedy of alcoholism and its ripple effect has the potential to change lives forever. Life is far too short to spend addicted to power and control. – whether external or internal. My life has changed immeasurably, albeit gradually, during the past four years; bringing this book to fruition is but one example of that. In addition to all the staff, volunteers and fellow clients, I would specifically like to express my gratitude to Virginia Ross, Lynne Macdonnell, Nanci Harris, Carol Garry, Anne Davidson, Chris Gour, Cherie Miller, Maria Wynnchuk and the women of the Jean Tweed Alumnae. Thanks to you all, I know there can simply be no turning back. If
you are concerned about your alcohol use, or that of someone you care about, Please visit The Jean Tweed link and/or any of the others listed here. The freedom of sobriety is within reach. It is possible. All
I can say is: be not afraid of sobriety. |
Recommended Reading Non-fiction Please note that this is by no means an
exhaustive list of books on the subject of addiction; merely books that I have found
particularly useful and validating over the years. They
are listed in publishing order. (C) denotes Canadian author.
Recommended Links The Jean Tweed Centre
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